ACCUweather huh?

The weather in Fresno is a bit screwy, especially in the wintertime. Some days its really cold (relatively) and others you have to layer your clothes so you can peel them off during the day (usually ending in a T-shirt). My phone has a handy little feature that allows me to quickly check the current conditions, and daily highs and lows with data provided by accuweather. So I make it a habit to check the weather on my phone as I'm getting dressed in the morning so I can choose the correct ensemble. This morning I picked up my phone and hit the weather button and was greeted with this:

What the hell? Its snowing right now?!?!? Um... as much as I like the novelty of it snowing in Fresno (it only happens like once every 10 years), I've never heard of it snowing when its 38 degrees outside. I'm no meterologist, but I'm pretty sure you need freezing conditions (<32 degrees) in order to have snow. I shrugged it off and went about my business. Later as I stepped outside, this is what I saw:

Typical Fresno winter fog. This is what I get for trusting a weather service based 3,000 miles away in State College, PA. Should have watched the local weather forecast. (Anyone catch the irony here? Look at who provides their data.)

Analogy of the day

Earlier in the day when I left my desk to take a quick pee pee break, I entered the restroom and found that the only urinal was in use and I had to use the toilet. It made me stop to do a little introspection: why was I disappointed by this? The same job gets done no matter what kind of receptacle is used, and in the case of men (and some women) a porcelain box isn't even required. Then it came to me in the form of an analogy.

Urinal:Toilet = Chopsticks:Forks
(urinal is to toilet as chopsticks are to forks)

Let me explain. At home I have a toilet, this is what I use on a daily basis. There is a certain novelty to urinals. Its similar to going out to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. You could use a fork to eat your chow mein, but you still ask for the chopsticks. 'Nuff said.

Oops! Wrong link!

I just realized that on my Holiday recap post I posted the wrong link for Holly Jones' photography website. This is the correct link www.hollyjonesphotography.com. If you haven't, take the time to check out her site. She does amazing work (like the fine specimen above). Sorry Holly.

photo by Holly Jones.

Confession of a Cheating Heart

My Sweet White Chocolate Raspberry International Delight,

I am sorry, but I must end our torrid affair. I've run our situation through my head time and time again. I thought I wanted more, but now I realize I was wrong. French Vanilla Coffee Mate and I were having some problems and then you came along. I was weak and partook of your raspberry goodness, but nothing will ever be as good as the vanilla I know and love. I apologize, but this is how it must be.

-Brandon

A walk in the mist

Its sort of a tradition for us to walk down Christmas Tree Lane every year. For those of you who don't know what Christmas Tree Lane is, its about two miles of decorated houses in an affluent neighborhood. Most of the season (December 1-24) they turn it into a one-way street and you drive down it (slowly), enjoying everyone's decorations. They even used to broadcast Christmas music into your radio (like the old movie drive-ins did with the audio). I haven't driven down it since I was little. Nowadays most cars come with daytime running lights and about 1% of people know how to manually override them, so you end up being blinded from behind, all the while asphyxiating on the exhaust of the cars in front of you. Not really what I'd call a fun time.

Two times a season they close the street off and allow only pedestrians. Most years this involves a clusterf**k of people, rambling the street, bumping into everything that moves. And the decorations had slowly been becoming less and less spectacular. I had even begun to dread the tradition the last couple of years.

But something happened this year. I was genuinely excited about the walk this year since Keegan was now old enough to enjoy all the lights. We avoided the usual hour long wait for a drink at the Starbucks closest to the event, instead opting for "extra hot" beverages at the one closest to our house. Then we avoided the frustration of trying to find a parking spot by meeting our friend's at their parent's house (right by the event). There were still a TON of people, but instead of the zombie like stupor everyone normally was in, everyone "respected the double yellow" (meaning people going north stayed on one side of the road, people going south stayed on the other). We met up with some friends who we don't get to see often enough and enjoyed a walk on the brisk, misty, evening. And to top off the experience, it seems that the lights, sound system, and decorations had been improved since last year. I had a great time!

Cereals of the future

The other day as I poured myself a bowl of Marshmallow Mateys (a pirate themed generic knockoff of Lucky Charms), I snickered to myself. Its strange how some of history's most notorious villains are now plopped into everyday life as children's mascots of sort. A few centuries ago pirates were feared for raping, killing, stealing, etc, and their eastern equivalent, ninjas, were a group of secretive assassins. Yet today they are cartoon characters and even heroes in some cases. Don't get me wrong I still think ninjas and pirates are cool, but it makes me think: what will the children of 2200 eat for breakfast? Nazi Nuggets? Facist Flakes? Klan Krisp?

I guess only time will tell.

A lesson about homonyms

If you know me or have read any of my posts you probably think I say some pretty cheesy things. Well now I have proof that I not only say cheesy things, I also think cheesy things. So I present you with my lesson of homonyms:

That's right: I was paring a pair of pears!

The sad thing is, as I was preparing some lunch for the little one and peeling the pear I actually went back to the fridge to to get a second pear just to take this picture. I know: LAME!