Spare me your marketing drabble

While I was at "Club Save Mart" (where I spotted the XXX soda aisle), I also saw a sign for their pharmacy's "19-Minute" Guarantee".  While its nice they make a promise like that, they are one of the newest entries into what I call "arbitrary number marketing".  Following Circuit City's 24/24 guarantee (pick up ready in 24 minutes or you get a $24 gift card) and the countless rows and rows of retail products ($xx.99) Save Mart steps up the psychological assault.  I have absolutely no problem with service speed guarantees, in fact I am apt to go some place that has one versus one that doesn't.  The problem I have is the stupid time-frame.  Why 19 minutes?  Do they really think people are going to go shopping for their groceries and then drive across the street to Long's to pick up their prescription?  It would take longer than a minute just to get across the street!

My list of approved time related guarantees:

• 60 seconds (1 minute is also an acceptable denotation)
• 3 minutes
• 5 minutes
• 10 minutes
• 15 minutes
• 20 minutes
• 30 minutes
• 1 hour (60 minutes is not acceptable in this case)
• 2, 3, 6, 12, 18, 24, 36 hour guarantees are also acceptable for longer services
• anything that takes longer than a day an a half really shouldn't brag about how "quick" they can get things done

Have you seen any other gimmicky time guarantees?

Going into the "adult" section

Shhhh. Don't tell my wife, but I just came out of the adult soda section at our local supermarket. Now you may be wondering.. WTF is "adult soda"?! Put your dirty mind to rest it isn't fizzy lubricants or soda in multi-purposed shaped bottles. Quite honestly... I don't know. Everything in that aisle looked like plain old pop. Perhaps its to give shoppers that naughty feeling without the store having to invest in red velvet curtains to hide the "products" from the kiddies.