The City's "Smiley"

If you recall, I made a post a few months back about how smiley faces at the end of a to do list (or any other place where the person reading it would not normally smile) drive me crazy. They just feel patronizing.

Well here is another thing that bugs me: Holiday greetings directly below the "NOW DUE" amount on my utility bill.

I read it like this. Give us $107 or your trash will pile up, your street will not be swept, and you will have no water... oh yeah and Merry effin Christmas."

Smileys: a leap forward for passive-aggression

I just had a sort of epiphany... By simply adding a colon and sideways parenthesis (singular for parentheses, file that one under who cares), you can say some truly hurtful things and totally get away with it.

Examples:

• You are the stupidest person I know :)
• I'm going to kill you!!! :)
• Wow! You're 45, don't have a job, and still live with your parents?! That's awesome! :)

I think subconsciously I inherited the use of smiley faces from my mom. She used to leave chore "todo" lists on the fridge and always put a smiley face at the end. Something along the lines of:

"Please do the following:
-Clean the kitchen
-Clean your bathroom
-Dust & Vacuum
Thanks, Mom [smiley]"

But I always interpreted it as this: "I know its summer and you would probably rather be doing something else but instead, do these chores or you'll be sorry! Don't like it? Awwwww, Mom. [middle finger]." (Ahhhhh... teen angst.)

For some pretty funny passive-aggressive notes (many with smileys) check out passiveaggressivenotes.com.

ETA: I just noticed the irony in putting the info about the plurality of parenthesis in parenthesis... I know, I'm lame.