That sheep is forking funny!

Two or so weeks ago my family went on our ritual Sunday morning breakfast at a local cafe (La Parisian on Palm & Nees) and enjoyed brunch with both sets of parents. It was a nice morning as usual, lounging around, eating crepes, and enjoying the frigid morning air. Once Keegan's naptime was approaching, we decided to go home before he had a "tired toddler explosion".

As a way to teach K new words and situations we often play the "what's that" game, asking him the name of something we see. On the way home a fire truck drove by with its lights and siren on, naturally we asked "Keegan, what's that?", to which he replied "F*CK!" with a big grin on this face. Natali and I just looked at each other. At first both our jaws were on the ground and we had sort of a deer in the headlights look about us. That look slowly melted into uproarious laughter (but trying to hide it, so we didn't reinforce that particular pronunciation). As we gathered ourselves, we took turns enunciating very carefully: f-eye-er T-r-uh-k. As he tried to repeat, he slowly responded: "Ahhhh fuuuuu*k". Hilarity ensued until both Nat and I were crying from trying to keep our laughter hidden.

The reason I bring this up now is that I think I have to have my "Parental License" suspended for a few days. My parents came over for dinner yesterday and I wanted to show off my son's new vernacular. I brought out a fork (which evokes a similar response) and asked, "Keegan, what's this?". To my dismay he responded "forrrrk". We praised him and gave him a round of applause, but in my head I was disappointed. How sad is that? I already miss the fun I could have had with that one. :)

This one is for the ladies...

In stark contrast to my techy nerd post yesterday, here is a post about fashion (sort of).

I went to my co-worker's office to ask if she had any work that she needed my help on. As I walked in she said "Oh! You have a wife... you'll appreciate this". Now that is one of those phrases sends shivers down my spine. Following that phrase, I've had women tell me stories that had too many TMI facts to count. I don't know your birthday, why do you think I care how frequently or intensely you menstruate (unless you ARE my wife, in which case this information is very useful). So as a side note to women who work around or even know men, here is the rule to remember: Having a wife/girlfriend/sister does NOT equal having a vagina. We may understand whats going on, but doesn't mean we want to know what's going on (as I'm sure other women don't want to know sometimes).

Anyway, back to my story. She showed me two pairs of pants that she had taken to a tailor to get "patched". My first thought, was why the hell does anyone get jeans patched? Then she pulled them out and I noticed the [for me] terrifying yellow swoopy stitch of Sevens. If you're a married man and don't understand why Sevens are terrifying click here (scary huh). So taking a $200 pair of pants to get stitched seems like a good move... unless you use this guy. She had dropped off a few things and was kind of going through them when she saw the jeans. This is how they turned out:

Yeah... pretty much completely ruined.

As she came across them in the pile she jumped and asked, "What have you done to my jeans?" The tailor, flabbergasted by this question, responded that he had fixed them just as she asked. My co-worker explained that these jeans were unwearable as anything but PJs now... the tailor disagreed. His wife soon walked in and my co-worker asked her, "Would you wear these out of the house?" The tailor's wife explained that if she had a long coat it wouldn't really be a problem (if you look at the bottom picture, you can see the original hole wasn't even that big). So their solution was to pay them $20 per pair of pants the "fixed" and then hide it... nice.

The bright side is you can think of it as getting a pair of "distressed" Sevens for 90% off!

Vista now OFFICIALLY the red-headed stepchild everyone knew it was

Steve Ballmer (whom is the CEO of Microsoft, not Bill Gates <--Retired) made some pretty exciting announcements at this years Consumer Electronics Show (CES). One of the announcements was the public availabilty of the new Microsoft OS simply known as Windows 7. The beta will be publicly available tomorrow (Friday Jan 9) to the first 2.5 Million people who download it. The new operating system is promised to be more reliable and user friendly than Microsoft's current operating system, Vista. One thing to note about the beta is, you can only upgrade from Vista SP1 (i.e., you can't go from XP to 7). Currently Microsoft is working on cheap upgrade programs to make the transition a little less bitter for people who may have recently forked out cash for Vista.

This basically ends the "Vista era" and now we can all move on (unless you're Apple's marketing director).

For some more information on the new OS, some of its new features, or its intened mid-2009 release date check out some of these links:

• Microsoft's CES 2009 Press Release
• Windows' Team Blog
• Gizmodo's "Microsoft's guided tour of the windows 7 taskbar"
  

Winning Wednesday: Starbucks' Bella Vista

This is my all time favorite coffee. It was discontinued a few years back (I think around 2003) and I'm so happy that it's back!

It's called Costa Rica Bella Vista F.W. Tres Rios (phew...), and is categorized as a medium roast. It is a really "bright" (high acidity) coffee so it pairs well with citrusy foods that complement its acidity, like lemon bars or strawberries. I love the first sip of Bella Vista in the morning, you literally feel the coffee lift your ears (its hard to describe). This coffee is great no matter how its made, but is of course at its best when made in a French press (paper filters tend to trap the coffee beans' oil which is where the flavor is).

Here is the "official" description:

"In the rolling hills outside San Jose, this coffee is cultivated on one of the region's oldest and last remaining estates. Guided by a proud tradition of quality and the long-term support of Starbucks, the owners have perfected time-honored farming methods to harvest and process the beans right on the estate, and established social programs to improve the farmers' livelihoods. Always a favorite in our tasting room, Bella Vista is surprisingly complex with a satisfying citrus sparkle, floral notes evocative of orange blossoms and a refreshing finish."

My description:

"It's delicious!"

So next time you are at Starbucks pick up a pound or two (I don't think they brew it as the coffee of the day) or at least ask the barista to sample the coffee. You'll be glad you did.

This is NOT intimidating

I was at Target yesterday and happened upon this amazing sight. Its the "Target Assets Protection-mobile". This has to be one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. I'm not 100% on this, but I think they have a "uniformed" AP person, riding around on this thing making sure people don't steal things or cause fights (covering their assets.. *sigh*).

I think it ends up being a double-edged sword though. This three-wheeled marvel actually makes me want to shoplift, just so I can see a security guard come out on this thing. On the other hand I don't think I'd get to far because I would probably pee my pants from laughing so hard.

Seriously! This might be more effective and it is way scarier:

Tech Tuesday: First Down Yellow Line

If you know me, you know I'm not really a "sports fan". I enjoy occasionally watching sports, but I don't usually change my plans in order to watch a game. That said, I have to say that some of the graphics (yellow first down line, the blue puck tracker in hockey, etc) that the broadcasting stations add to help the fans watch the game are really quite nice and I think it makes watching sports more accessible to people who might not normally care. Its a lot easier to say "they have to cross that yellow line" instead of "well when that team gets possession of the ball, they have four tries to go a total of ten yards, each time they are tackled that is one try and they have to make it ..." blah blah blah.

What I didn't realize was how much technology actually goes into making those things happen. This story came up on my RSS reader from gizmodo.com, have a watch, it's pretty neat.

The City's "Smiley"

If you recall, I made a post a few months back about how smiley faces at the end of a to do list (or any other place where the person reading it would not normally smile) drive me crazy. They just feel patronizing.

Well here is another thing that bugs me: Holiday greetings directly below the "NOW DUE" amount on my utility bill.

I read it like this. Give us $107 or your trash will pile up, your street will not be swept, and you will have no water... oh yeah and Merry effin Christmas."